TT Races.


Port St Mary.

In 1405 Henry IV gave the Isle of Man to the Stanley family. It was used extensively by smugglers. Its position and virtual independence made it difficult for the British to prosecute. The Island is not part of the UK. It has been a crown possession since 1928.

“I was bent face downwards over the back of a chair. I cried with fear. My trousers were pulled down and my shirt pulled up. Two policemen held my arms and a third held my head down. A fourth, a sergeant, used the birch. The pain was terrible. I kept screaming for my parents. I was in pain for hours,’ the stocky, pug-nosed William said; ‘I thought they were hitting me with red-hot wire. I just shouted until they had finished. Thankfully it was over quickly. But I’ll never do anything that could get me the birch again.”

The Motorhomers are sunbathing, sitting on deck-chairs on the beach at Douglas. Phemie and Jessie are people watching, as usual;

‘Look at him, Phemie, he’s stripped down tae his swimmin’ trunks, but he hasnae taken his toupee aff,’ said Jessie.

‘Dae ye think that he’s wearin’ a wig, Jessie?’ asked Phemie.

At that moment the gentleman removed his crowning glory and tucked it into the waist-band of his trunks;

‘Oh aye, Jessie, I can see that ye’re right as usual. Look at the big baldy heid he’s got, said Phemie

‘Aye, it’s obscene, Phemie, he’d better watch oot for the polis. He could be lifted for indecent exposure and get fifty lashes o’ the birch,’ said Jessie.

‘Whit’s the birch? Jessie, asked Phemie.

‘Och, ye’d better ask his nibs there, Phemie, he thinks he knows everythin’,’ said Jessie.

‘Well, Phemie,’ said Josie, ‘It’s the cat o’ nine tails,’ he said. ‘They use it for corporal punishment on the Isle o’ Man,’ said Josie.

Francie then decided to pitch into this conversation;

‘Josie, I thought that a’ the cats on the Isle o’ Man had nae tails. It disnae seem right tae me that yin cat should’ve nine tails, an’ a’ the ithers have nane, Josie,’ said Francie.

‘Francie,’ said Josie. ‘See that ice cream man up on the promenade?’ he asked.

Aye, Josie, aye, Josie, I see him, Josie, said Francie.

‘Gonnae take a tenner an’ go an’ get the four o us a double nougat?’ he asked.

‘Sure, Josie, sure, Josie,’ said Francie.

‘Jessie, gie the wee man a tenner, hen,’ said Josie.

‘Away ye go an bile yer heid, Josie,’ said Jessie.

TT Races.

Joe Sharp.

For the adventures of Francie and Josie, click here.

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