Loch Ness

Loch Ness.

Loch Ness is one of a series of lochs that run along the Great Glen, a glacial gash created millions of years ago. The loch is famous for the creature called, Nessie. Scientists suspect that a Pleiosarus may be in existence here. West of Inverness, the loch stretches for a distance of 23 miles. At over 750 feet deep it is one of the world’s most famous attractions.

Fort Augustus, with Loch Ness in the background.

The Campervan is parked by the loch-side. They are on the look-out for the creature. Josie has brought his late grandfather’s naval binoculars with him on the trip. He has mounted the bins on a tripod and is scanning the surface of the loch, hoping to catch a glimpse of the monster. Francie is in charge of the camera.

Fort William.

Phemie is having a discussion with Jessie, regarding the authenticity and the gender of the legendary monster;

‘Jessie, how dae they know that Nessie’s a lassie, Jessie?’ Phemie enquired, ‘when the bliddy thing has only peeped it’s heid oot o’ the water,’ said Phemie.

‘Phemie, how dae ye expect me tae know that?’ said Jessie, ‘maybe it’s because it was wearin’ bliddy lip-stick, I don’t know, Phemie. Lord Nelson there wi’ the bins, has got all the answers, he’ll be able tae tell ye, Phemie,’ said Jessie.

Fort George.

Josie was focusing the lens on something and was getting rather excited. He suddenly called out;

‘I’ve got it, Francie, get the camera ready, get the camera ready!’ he screamed. ‘Two big monsters,’ he cried out.

‘Let me see, Josie,’ yelled Francie. ‘Let me see,’ he shouted.

‘There ye go, Francie,’ said Josie, ‘have a gander at that,’ he said.

Josie had focused the bins on a very buxom lady, sunbathing on the top deck of a cabin-cruiser;

‘That’s magic, Josie, just magic, Josie,’ said Francie.

‘Let me see,’ said Jessie. ‘Here, you have a look as well, Phemie,’ said Jessie.

Phemie had a wee look;

‘Ye’re baith a couple o’ numpties,’ said Jessie.

Joe Sharp.

The adventures of Francie and Josie, click here.

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