Murder at the Palace by Motorhome

Linlithgow Palace

Linlithgow Palace Fountain

Don’t let the following tale of a dastardly deed deter your visit to the Palace in your Motorhome, although I do have this piece of advice I must give you. If you’re planning to be plucking the strings of your guitar while you are there, then keep a close eye on who’s at your back.

The Palace of Holyroodhouse

One can tell there’s something afoot, the sinister scuffling of a boot, the darkening sky soon black as soot, the eerie owl calls hoot, hoot, hoot. There’s been a murder!

The Murder

Mary wis dancin’ happy in the supper room
Wi’ a’ her ladies the four Marys in attendance
David wis pluckin’ at his mandolin tae tune
Getting ready for a two-by-two-by-two step dance

Mary said ‘David can ye play the minuet?’
So he bent doon tae the lute so that he’d be nearer
‘David have ye no’ goat that thing ready yet?’
He said ‘I havenae goat the music so I’m playin’ it by ear’

Poor David Rizzio wi’ his ear so sorely occupied
He didnae hear the rumpus oan the stair
The Thugs rushed in an’ Mary’s favourite music died
Wi’ Darnley’s dagger in his back an’ him lyin’ oan the flerr

Oh ye Scottish noblemen hing doon yer heids in shame
Takin’ Mary’s melodies away
An’ the wee Italian troubadour sae far away frae hame
Will haunt ye a’ until ye’re auld an’ grey

Joe Sharp


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