Loch Garry.

The West Highland Way begins on the outskirts of Glasgow and meanders through scenes of unsurpassed beauty, finishing in Fort William, at the foot of majestic Ben Nevis.


The Massacre of Glencoe.

You are hereby ordered and authorised to march our troops which are now posted at Inverlochy and Inverness and to act against these Highland rebels who have not taken the benefit of our indemnity, by fire and sword and all manner of hostility; to burn their houses, seize or destroy their goods or cattle, plenishings or clothes, and to cut off the men.

Jacobite Preparing.

The Glaswegians are at the campsite in Fort William. Jessie and Phemie are basking in the sunshine, sitting on deck-chairs alongside the Campervan enjoying a glass of white wine. Jessie is ranting as usual;

‘There I wis, Phemie, doin’ my usual, people watchin’, wi’ my elbows on the cushion, lookin’ oot o’ the windae. Along comes Sadie, she wis pushin’ the twins in the buggy, the wee four year auld wis haudin’ on tae the handle. She wis carryin’ a big bag o’ messages frae the Co-op store. I shouted, Sadie, Sadie, dae ye know that yin o’ yer bosoms is hangin’ oot? Aw, naw, she shouts, I’ve left the wee wean on the bus,’ she screams. 

‘It’s a shame, Jessie, it’s a shame, so it is,’ said Phemie.


Meanwhile the lads are contemplating the West Highland Way;

‘Josie, Josie, dae ye know whit I wis thinkin’?’ Francie was asking.

‘Naw, Francie, am I about tae be shaken by a shockin’ revelation?’ asked  Josie.

‘I wis thinkin’, Josie, we could dae that walk, Josie,’ Francie said.

Josie didn’t look too pleased with Francie’s suggestion;

‘It wis only a thought, Josie,’ Francie said, his petted-lip prominent.

‘Francie, Francie, ye gether a’ together a’ these thoughts o’ yours. Put them in a wee plastic bag an’ dump them in the nearest bin. Dae ye know whit I mean, Francie?’  asked Josie.

‘Sure, Josie, sure, Josie, I’ve got the message, Josie,’ said Francie.

Joe Sharp.

You may enjoy the Adventures of Francie and Josie, click here.

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