Traipsing around the UK
An introduction to, Francie and Josie.
The Atlantic Bridge.
Introduction.
Both couples were now retired. They had been friends for a very long time and had come through some harrowing times as well as many happy moments. The foursome had brought up their families in the same area of Govan on the River Clyde in Glasgow.
The children were now adults making their own way through life, with children of their own. Their parents’ new lives were about to begin. Born in a Protestant home, Francis met, fell in love and married Euphemia, a Catholic girl. The ensuing children were brought up in the Roman Catholic faith. Joseph, a Catholic, met Jessica, they fell in love. The children were brought up as Protestant.
Francis and Joseph had done their national service with the armed forces, Francis being posted to Cyprus with the RAF, and Joseph to Germany with the Army. Francis had been employed with Glasgow Corporation as a driver on the underground subway trains. Since retiring he had noticed that he no longer suffered from dizzy-turns. Josie had worked in the shipyards on the Clyde. He had been left with a peculiar twitch in his neck through having to dodge the overhead cranes as they passed overhead. This peculiarity made Joseph look as though he was itching for a fight when he would duck his head down to avoid the crane and his chin would jut forward in a menacing manner. The truth was in fact, he was a very mild mannered person.
Euphemia and Jessica, their wives, had both been employed by Glasgow Corporation transport as conductresses on the buses. Both ladies were different in appearance, Phemie being as skinny as a garden rake, and Jessie, a little bit more on the plump side. They had so much more in common and would always be seen in the company of one another.
So it was that when the two couples retired they had decided to take the opportunity of seeing a little of their very own country, to learn a little of its history, its culture and its people. Joseph was the driving force in the party, and wherever Joseph went, Francis was just behind him. They were inseparable, pals for life. Jessica was the real boss, the one who pulled Joseph’s strings, and Euphemia still hadn’t let Francis loose from her apron strings. The two ladies were always in total control of every situation. Both women knew that this was true and they relished in the situation.
They had discussed buying a Motorhome and had come to the decision that this was what they wanted to do. At every opportunity they would take to the road, to venture forth where no Govan man or woman had gone before, out into the far flung Lochs and Castles the Mountains and Cities, Museums and Harbours the Islands, Skye, the Hebrides, Orkney, Shetland and further across the horizon to foreign fields like England, Ireland, Wales etc, etc, etc.
The characters’ names, in no particular order are; Francie, Josie, Phemie and Jessie.
The story-line is higgledy-piggledy.
The adventure begins:
Loch Ness.
Loch Ness is the second largest Scottish loch after Loch Lomond but due to its great depth it is the largest by volume. It is deeper than any other loch in Scotland with the exception of Loch Morar (where lurks Nessie’s little sister, ‘Morag.’) It is the largest body of water on the Great Glen Fault, which runs from Inverness in the north to Fort William in the south.
Loch Morar.
Loch Morar is the deepest freshwater loch in Britain, deeper than the Atlantic Ocean. Loch Morar is separated from the Atlantic’s waters by a fast flowing river only nine hundred feet long.
Two Glasgow men were fishing from a dinghy on Loch Morar. There was a loud splashing in the water behind them. They turned to see a large creature surfacing. It had three large humps on its back and a snake like head. It was around thirty feet long with a brown scaly skin.
The monster lunged toward the men in the boat. The disturbance of the water caused by the creature toppled the two lads into the bottom of their dinghy. ‘Morag’ then slipped back down to the depths below.
The two men soon regained their composure;
‘Josie, whit the heck wis that, wis it yin o’ yon Polaris submarines, Josie?’ asked Francie.
‘Aw, Francie, this isnae the time for me tae be gein’ ye anither yin o’ yer prehistoric history lessons. An’ any way, submarines don’t go ‘Grr,’ Francie,’ said Josie.
‘Did it go ‘Grr,’ Josie, did it go ‘Grr,’ Josie?’ asked Francie.
‘Sure, it went ‘Grr,’ Francie, that’s whit big scary monsters dae, they go ‘Grr,’ said Josie. ‘Jist pick up a blinkin’ paddle and let’s skeedaddle aff this Loch before the damn thing comes back,’ said Josie. ‘We’ll have a couple o’ haufs o’ whisky back a the Campervan tae settle us doon,’ he said.
‘Sure, Josie, sure, Josie, a couple o’ haufs o’ whisky, Josie, that’ll dae the trick nicely, Josie,’ said Francie.
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